The Return of AIDS

I've been putting off writing about this for days. I keep meaning to sit down and write down my experience with ADAP and why it's so important, blah blah blah... it should be easy. But i just keep staring and a blank screen or jotting down uber-bland jems like "Please join me on the polk street steps of city hall for a fun filled day of AIDS activism," i mean, seriously. And this rally is tomorrow, so after another failed attempt last night i said 'i'll sleep on it,' and i got up early this morning and opened up my lap top and i just couldn't focus! and now i'm sitting here at my desk and i finally figured it out. I'm scared.

A good GOOD friend of mine, a brother, has been in and out of the hospital recently. He found out he was positive several years ago, didn't seek out the care he needed and now he has AIDS. I have been kind of a crazy person lately... hospitals a rough places for me at the best of times, and he is so important to me... But he is gonna be okay. He is getting the care he needs and he is gonna be okay, he is gonna be okay thanks to ADAP. Because without ADAP there is no way he would be able to afford the anti-retrovirals and other incredibly expensive medications that he needs to get better. Neither could I, or almost any of my friends. My Brothers.

Now i have to imagine a my world without ADAP and that means a world of AIDS. If you cut funding for ADAP you will take away the only source of life saving medication for thousands of gay men. We will die. That simple. It'll be the 80's all over again. And the thought of watching half the people i love wither up and pass away, before i finally go too... I don't want to have to think about that.

So if you ever wanted to do something for your Positive Brothers, YOU CAN DO THIS. We will be on the Polk Street steps of City Hall tomorrow at 11:30. We will be easy to find, just look for the homos wearing red and waving signs. Project Inform has lined up some great speakers, like Cecilia Chung and Jason Villalobos. We will Save ADAP. Lives depend on it.

Where I'll Be Drinking

Tonight is the one year anniversary of the monthly gathering of the House/Disco DJs, Go Bang! Where we will see the return of founding Go Banger(?) Ken Vulsion of Honey Sound System. And DJ Bearded Lady of Chilidog (Chilidog i miss you already!).

Honey Sound System's Honey Sunday at the Paradise Lounge is bringing back it's Bottomless(ha!) Beer Bust. $8 from 9-11pm.

see you kids on the playground.

Random Awesome Things

I just found excellent instructions on Aries Wrangling.

New York is full of sexy boys.

Straight boys never fail to amuse me.

The sea is full of beautiful/hideous monsters.

Chilidog: Hiatus

Ever since I moved to San Francisco, three years ago, Chilidog has been the secret sun that my world has revolved around. I met most of my good friends there, or people who would introduce me to my closest friends. It was the location of the first Ambrosia & the Bearnstiens show. It's born witness to break-ups and black-outs, mischief and making out. And now she is going on hiatus, hopefully to return in the new year at a new location.

Come by tonight to say 'until next time' to DJ Stanly Frank and the place that has been my Cheers for the last three years. There is no cover, $3 drink specials, and the 37th 'last' performance of Ambrosia Salad before she flys off to the Mysterious East to confront her nemesis.

Behold Our Adorable Over Lords!

Researchers at IBM have built a supercomputer that simulates a cat's brain. Awesome, right?

Look Out Los Angeles

Okay gang, this one is just for the Angelenos, everyone else can go back to playing Farmville (ha!). If you are looking for a Night of Serious Fun, you can never go wrong with 'Shits & Giggles,' and tonight that already awesome party is being graced by some of San Francisco's most luminous lights. Tireless Renaissance Warrior, Terry T, will be hosting and holding court. And the Ever Ferocious Lady Bear is serving up the San Francisco Drag Realness. Rolling Blackouts will be manning the cameras and there are some uber-affordable shot specials. I'd almost be jealous... if you all didn't live in LA.

America's Best Party

The Honey Sound System boys' Sunday night boogie-fest, Honey Sundays, has been nominated as Best Party in America (awesome, right?). Go vote.

New York Values

I get to go see Penny Arcade in her new show 'New York Values' @ the Marsh, 8pm tonight (here for tickets). I have to admit that i'm a little bit in awe of Penny Arcade and not just because of her biography (which is formidable), or because of how good she was in her last show, 'Bitch, Dyke, Fag Hag, Whore' (she was very good), but because in a way she occupies an almost mythological place in my mind.

I was a voracious reader in my youth, and my hunger for new books far outpaced my ability to pay for them... so i stole them. I got pretty good at it too. So then one day this total douche nozzle of a boy i'd been dating broke my heart (it was a time in my life when the ability to successfully execute a kick-flip on a skate board went a long way t'word getting my pants undone, so take it for what it's worth) and i decided to boost my spirits with some recreational petty theft. Yes, i shoplifted as a youth. Yes, i was very good. But that afternoon I was the proverbial shoplifting ninja, having hit 8 bookstores in ten malls. almost a thousand dollars worth of merchandise. I was in the zone, i was unstoppable, and then i almost got caught.

It was the last store on my way back home, i was getting cocky. I didn't think anyone would bother security tagging a book of poetry. I was wrong. The offending book was titled 'Verses that Hurt,' an anthology of poems. I started reading where the security tag was lodged, in the middle of the book, and i read all the way t the end. When i got to the end i started at the beginning and read all the way through again. I let the poets' words wash over me. Brutal, hilarious, dark, heart-breaking. I read that book over and over again. Until all of that joy and pain seemed into all the little dark crevasses in my soul, and it helped change me. This book, over the years, has brought me far more relief and solace then any amount of self-destructive/deviant behavior ever has. And thats why i'm so in awe of Penny Arcade, and also the other authors of 'Verses that Hurt,' their words became a part of me and helped make me something better.

Random Awesome Things

The Addams Family is now a musical starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane! (Carrie is also a musical not starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane)

The world is not going to end in 2012.

Straight boys never fail to entertain me.

A pact forged in AWESOME.

I Took What Wanted Me

There was a moment this morning, when the sunlight and cool autumn air were drifting in through my window, and i could feel you lying next to me. I pulled you in, holding you tight and smelling the back of your neck... before i realized my mistake. He squeezed my arm, and hummed his pleasure. But he isn't you.

Prayers for Children

A few months ago my friend (and very talented photographer) Jody Jock, invited me to submit some of my writings to an online zine he and his collective were putting together.

Prayers For Children, Issue One, is online now. Please check it out and let me know what you think. this is the first time in a long time i've let me fiction out into the world...

A Night With Mister Black

While i was causing a ruckus in Palm Springs my BYGAS brother Danimal, and many other homos of note, attended the Mr. Black Party at the Paradise Lounge. PAPER Magazine was there to preserve the High Fashion Shenanigans for posterity.

Music in the Morning

Okay. I'm more than a little obsessed with this Video. In the past three days i must have watched it twenty five times, and the more i watch it the more amazing little details i notice.

-b

p.s. Lady GaGa will be guest starring on Gossip Girl tomorrow night. (i live!)

Suck-It Hippies!!!

So remember a few weeks back when people were freaking out about 'bombing' the moon (in fact we crashed some pieces of rocket ship into a crater)? All of my crunchy/herbal/vegan/neo-new age friends were absolutly apoplectic about 'America's Crazy Militarism' and possible disruption to the 'lunar tide cycle' etc. Well i am happy to report, not only did the 'bombing' not sever earth/humanity's psycho-spiritual connection to the moon, but we found water!!!! which means a moonbase is right around the corner! Three cheers for humanity!

BUTTs

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Amazing!!! Adorable Angelino Photgorapher About Town, Gabe Ayala, was snapping pictures pool side for Butt Magazine. He somehow managed to lure myself and some other gentleman into a yurt (yes, a yurt) where some intimate photography took place... (doesn't Squirrel have a great ass?)

Get Up and Dance

I woke up this morning in a ridiculously good mood, with this song in my brain. It's not a great song, but i seem to watch the video at least twice a day (it feeds my compulsive desire to see Leighton Meester dress in sexy/amazing clothes, which is pretty much the driving force behind my love of Gossip Girl.)

Return: Triumphant

The boys and I are back from Palm Springs and i have more then a few stories to share. There will be photos and anecdotes in a day or two.

look out socal

You hear that Palm Springs Pride? The boys of BYGAS are on our way.

Sunday Morning Confessional

I am a man of few regrets, but if i could wave a wand and make it so that you and i had never met i would do so. My frevrent hope is that one day they'll find a solution, a way to tame our rebelious blood. I hope that one day you'll be free of me, like i was never here at all.

I've loved you fiercely and terribly, and it has cost you so much.

I'm so sorry.

Maybe one day you will forgive me.

But i don't think i'll ever find it in my heart to forgive myself.

-b