Stop the Presses

Honey Sound System is getting some much deserved! Check out this interview with my homie Jacob Sperber over at SFgate.

"10 Best Butts of 2009"

My BYGAS brother Oscar has been named one of the 10 Best Butts of 2009 by Butt Magazine (an honor he CLEARLY deserves). I just love Christmas, don't you?

"Way Harsh Tai"

TMZ is reporting that Brittany Murphy had a heart attack this morning at 8am.

She was 32.

There is a 'white christmas' joke in there somewhere, but honestly i'm too sad to make it.

She was one of the great young comedic actresses of her time, and i'm gonna miss her like 'woah,'

Too Proud For Love

It's always startling and astonishing when a song rips the words from your heart, and says them better then you ever could.

Come as you Were

We are having a 90s themed birthday party for some of the very special Sagittariuses in our lives, tomorrow night at the House of Monsters. Bring booze, and boozed up hot friends dressed in their most 90s attire. See you kids at the mall!

Jason Villalobos: Media Darling

The ADAP rally was a success (in that it got the camera crews out, thus letting the good people of the bay area know that this problem even exists) And it has to be said that a lot of the success was do the fantastic speech delivered by Jason Villalobos (above!). Since the rally Jason has become something of a media darling.

The Return of AIDS

I've been putting off writing about this for days. I keep meaning to sit down and write down my experience with ADAP and why it's so important, blah blah blah... it should be easy. But i just keep staring and a blank screen or jotting down uber-bland jems like "Please join me on the polk street steps of city hall for a fun filled day of AIDS activism," i mean, seriously. And this rally is tomorrow, so after another failed attempt last night i said 'i'll sleep on it,' and i got up early this morning and opened up my lap top and i just couldn't focus! and now i'm sitting here at my desk and i finally figured it out. I'm scared.

A good GOOD friend of mine, a brother, has been in and out of the hospital recently. He found out he was positive several years ago, didn't seek out the care he needed and now he has AIDS. I have been kind of a crazy person lately... hospitals a rough places for me at the best of times, and he is so important to me... But he is gonna be okay. He is getting the care he needs and he is gonna be okay, he is gonna be okay thanks to ADAP. Because without ADAP there is no way he would be able to afford the anti-retrovirals and other incredibly expensive medications that he needs to get better. Neither could I, or almost any of my friends. My Brothers.

Now i have to imagine a my world without ADAP and that means a world of AIDS. If you cut funding for ADAP you will take away the only source of life saving medication for thousands of gay men. We will die. That simple. It'll be the 80's all over again. And the thought of watching half the people i love wither up and pass away, before i finally go too... I don't want to have to think about that.

So if you ever wanted to do something for your Positive Brothers, YOU CAN DO THIS. We will be on the Polk Street steps of City Hall tomorrow at 11:30. We will be easy to find, just look for the homos wearing red and waving signs. Project Inform has lined up some great speakers, like Cecilia Chung and Jason Villalobos. We will Save ADAP. Lives depend on it.

Where I'll Be Drinking

Tonight is the one year anniversary of the monthly gathering of the House/Disco DJs, Go Bang! Where we will see the return of founding Go Banger(?) Ken Vulsion of Honey Sound System. And DJ Bearded Lady of Chilidog (Chilidog i miss you already!).

Honey Sound System's Honey Sunday at the Paradise Lounge is bringing back it's Bottomless(ha!) Beer Bust. $8 from 9-11pm.

see you kids on the playground.

Random Awesome Things

I just found excellent instructions on Aries Wrangling.

New York is full of sexy boys.

Straight boys never fail to amuse me.

The sea is full of beautiful/hideous monsters.

Chilidog: Hiatus

Ever since I moved to San Francisco, three years ago, Chilidog has been the secret sun that my world has revolved around. I met most of my good friends there, or people who would introduce me to my closest friends. It was the location of the first Ambrosia & the Bearnstiens show. It's born witness to break-ups and black-outs, mischief and making out. And now she is going on hiatus, hopefully to return in the new year at a new location.

Come by tonight to say 'until next time' to DJ Stanly Frank and the place that has been my Cheers for the last three years. There is no cover, $3 drink specials, and the 37th 'last' performance of Ambrosia Salad before she flys off to the Mysterious East to confront her nemesis.

Behold Our Adorable Over Lords!

Researchers at IBM have built a supercomputer that simulates a cat's brain. Awesome, right?

Look Out Los Angeles

Okay gang, this one is just for the Angelenos, everyone else can go back to playing Farmville (ha!). If you are looking for a Night of Serious Fun, you can never go wrong with 'Shits & Giggles,' and tonight that already awesome party is being graced by some of San Francisco's most luminous lights. Tireless Renaissance Warrior, Terry T, will be hosting and holding court. And the Ever Ferocious Lady Bear is serving up the San Francisco Drag Realness. Rolling Blackouts will be manning the cameras and there are some uber-affordable shot specials. I'd almost be jealous... if you all didn't live in LA.

America's Best Party

The Honey Sound System boys' Sunday night boogie-fest, Honey Sundays, has been nominated as Best Party in America (awesome, right?). Go vote.

New York Values

I get to go see Penny Arcade in her new show 'New York Values' @ the Marsh, 8pm tonight (here for tickets). I have to admit that i'm a little bit in awe of Penny Arcade and not just because of her biography (which is formidable), or because of how good she was in her last show, 'Bitch, Dyke, Fag Hag, Whore' (she was very good), but because in a way she occupies an almost mythological place in my mind.

I was a voracious reader in my youth, and my hunger for new books far outpaced my ability to pay for them... so i stole them. I got pretty good at it too. So then one day this total douche nozzle of a boy i'd been dating broke my heart (it was a time in my life when the ability to successfully execute a kick-flip on a skate board went a long way t'word getting my pants undone, so take it for what it's worth) and i decided to boost my spirits with some recreational petty theft. Yes, i shoplifted as a youth. Yes, i was very good. But that afternoon I was the proverbial shoplifting ninja, having hit 8 bookstores in ten malls. almost a thousand dollars worth of merchandise. I was in the zone, i was unstoppable, and then i almost got caught.

It was the last store on my way back home, i was getting cocky. I didn't think anyone would bother security tagging a book of poetry. I was wrong. The offending book was titled 'Verses that Hurt,' an anthology of poems. I started reading where the security tag was lodged, in the middle of the book, and i read all the way t the end. When i got to the end i started at the beginning and read all the way through again. I let the poets' words wash over me. Brutal, hilarious, dark, heart-breaking. I read that book over and over again. Until all of that joy and pain seemed into all the little dark crevasses in my soul, and it helped change me. This book, over the years, has brought me far more relief and solace then any amount of self-destructive/deviant behavior ever has. And thats why i'm so in awe of Penny Arcade, and also the other authors of 'Verses that Hurt,' their words became a part of me and helped make me something better.

Random Awesome Things

The Addams Family is now a musical starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane! (Carrie is also a musical not starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane)

The world is not going to end in 2012.

Straight boys never fail to entertain me.

A pact forged in AWESOME.

I Took What Wanted Me

There was a moment this morning, when the sunlight and cool autumn air were drifting in through my window, and i could feel you lying next to me. I pulled you in, holding you tight and smelling the back of your neck... before i realized my mistake. He squeezed my arm, and hummed his pleasure. But he isn't you.

Prayers for Children

A few months ago my friend (and very talented photographer) Jody Jock, invited me to submit some of my writings to an online zine he and his collective were putting together.

Prayers For Children, Issue One, is online now. Please check it out and let me know what you think. this is the first time in a long time i've let me fiction out into the world...

A Night With Mister Black

While i was causing a ruckus in Palm Springs my BYGAS brother Danimal, and many other homos of note, attended the Mr. Black Party at the Paradise Lounge. PAPER Magazine was there to preserve the High Fashion Shenanigans for posterity.

Music in the Morning

Okay. I'm more than a little obsessed with this Video. In the past three days i must have watched it twenty five times, and the more i watch it the more amazing little details i notice.

-b

p.s. Lady GaGa will be guest starring on Gossip Girl tomorrow night. (i live!)

Suck-It Hippies!!!

So remember a few weeks back when people were freaking out about 'bombing' the moon (in fact we crashed some pieces of rocket ship into a crater)? All of my crunchy/herbal/vegan/neo-new age friends were absolutly apoplectic about 'America's Crazy Militarism' and possible disruption to the 'lunar tide cycle' etc. Well i am happy to report, not only did the 'bombing' not sever earth/humanity's psycho-spiritual connection to the moon, but we found water!!!! which means a moonbase is right around the corner! Three cheers for humanity!

BUTTs

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Amazing!!! Adorable Angelino Photgorapher About Town, Gabe Ayala, was snapping pictures pool side for Butt Magazine. He somehow managed to lure myself and some other gentleman into a yurt (yes, a yurt) where some intimate photography took place... (doesn't Squirrel have a great ass?)

Get Up and Dance

I woke up this morning in a ridiculously good mood, with this song in my brain. It's not a great song, but i seem to watch the video at least twice a day (it feeds my compulsive desire to see Leighton Meester dress in sexy/amazing clothes, which is pretty much the driving force behind my love of Gossip Girl.)

Return: Triumphant

The boys and I are back from Palm Springs and i have more then a few stories to share. There will be photos and anecdotes in a day or two.

look out socal

You hear that Palm Springs Pride? The boys of BYGAS are on our way.

Sunday Morning Confessional

I am a man of few regrets, but if i could wave a wand and make it so that you and i had never met i would do so. My frevrent hope is that one day they'll find a solution, a way to tame our rebelious blood. I hope that one day you'll be free of me, like i was never here at all.

I've loved you fiercely and terribly, and it has cost you so much.

I'm so sorry.

Maybe one day you will forgive me.

But i don't think i'll ever find it in my heart to forgive myself.

-b

Terry T: Renaissance Warrior

Terry from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

I believe that style is a means of communication. The way you do your hair, the clothes you wear, every bead and bangle; their all saying something about you, whether you know it or not. One of the people who definitely *does* know it is my friend Terry T (you've probably seen him out and about). Terry's fearlessness combined with a careful understanding of himself make it hard not to respect his sense of style. And i'm not the only one to think so, check out his interview w/ style like u.

Terry and his cohorts throw a greath monthly @ the Triple Crown, Miss Honey, thats all about style and attitude, and tonight is their very first Halloween party. See you kids on the runway.

-b

Post Show Glow

I know it's been like a ghost town around here, but now that the Ambrosia & The Bearnsteins show is over i'm resolved that this blog is going to get updated a lot more frequently. The show was a BIG success, by the way. I think everybody who came had a blast. And i've never been happier with a project that i was involved in. I was buzzed on adrenaline for almost 24 hours then i crashed HARD last night. Now today i'm so effing sore, i feel like i must have gotten beaten on stage, but i can't stop smiling. I'll throw some pictures of the show up once i get my hands on some good ones.

Haiku

Change peppers my floor.

From when you took your pants off,

and we fucked that guy.

A Man of Two Vices

I am essentially a man of two vices, the first being marijuana. It occurs to me, with my third anniversery of moving to San Francisco aproaching at break neck speed, that if you have met me since i've moved here you have probably never seen me sober. In fact i'm sure there is a good chunk of you people who have never seen me without a pipe or a bong in my hand. I hit the bong first thing when i wake up in the morning, and again on my way out the door to work. I smoke on my lunch breaks, and right when i get home. I smoke before i go out. I smoke when i stay in. To quote that great SoCal poet, Bradley Nowell, 'I smoke two joints before i smoke two joints, and then i smoke two more,' I've pretty much been stoned since 2005.

My other vice is guys. Way before i discovered the joys of the lady Mary Jane i discovered the high of being desired by other men. The heady thrills of the chase; coy smiles and sideways glances. The dance of bought shots and (often not so) subtle innuendo. Most importanly i figured out that i could take all of my insecurities, my fear and self doubt, all my pain and confussion and just... let it go, if only for the time it took me to shudder and cum. I could learned how to quiet the voices. So here i am now, and I don't really remember the last time I didn't have a guy or two in my life. Guys to chase and be chased by. Guys to measure myself against and subsume myself into. Guys to distract myself with, and lose myself in... I have been in one relationship or another for literally the last eight years.

I've been wondering lately who i am when i'm not stoned and i'm not trying to conquer some new man. Who am I when i'm not trying to make some dude happy? When i'm not lost in a fog of waking dreams? Who am I without my crutches? In the last few weeks i've become so hungry to KNOW.

So i'm finding out. I haven't smoked in over 24 hours, and instead of spending my time and energy trying to get laid i'm going to invest in my friends and my art and exploring the City and the Bay Area (i've never been to the east bay!). I'm gonna figure out whats inside me, and maybe it's nothing special, but at least i'll know.

Love Parade

My friends and i like to joke that the annual Love Parade (a celebration of electronic music and 'club culture' that takes place every year in the civic center) is like pride for straight people. And last year the kids of HomoChic, Honey Sound System, and Wulfpak got together in an attempt to show those heterosexuals just how pride is done. Our float was called 'The Death of Shade,' we all dressed up for a funeral and sad-danced our way down market street. it was fucking awesome.

This year we are back to do it again with the one and only homo-float in all of the Love Parade, Snoball!

Morning Comics

Aaron Diaz's Dresden Codak is one of my favorite web comics. Odd and funny, and always beatutiful; his comics are full of dream logic and sly social cometary. He only updates every few weeks but i still find myself checking his sight once a day like an addict hungry for a fix.

Friends and Family

Juanita More, Joshua J, and Brandon Norris got a (glowing) writeup in the Examiner.

Pictures of Jacob Sperber and Honey Sundays are splashed all over Spank.

IO Echo bassist and LA pin-up boy, Aram Kirakosian, has made his debut(?) on Perez Hilton.

Evening Comics

Oh Doonesbury, thank you

Love Songs

Do Not Love Me
I am not to be loved
That sanctuary is denied me
I will only cause you pain
If you somehow make me love you
It won't save you
Nothing can save you
From my love
I only hate the things I fear
And i only fear the ones I love
So I will hurt you
I will make you hate me
Before you make me love you
Before you make me weak
Before you bring me low
Curled up on the floor
Humming love songs I can't quite remember
And changing myself into someone
Someone you could never love

Limited Screening

My Mother was a Witch, or else a Witch had taken over my mothers body, either way; the car was nose first in the creek she inhabited the house, hosting gallas and balls for all the most important people in the vally while my step father wept and wrote to the local hospitals and radio stations, 'have you seen my missing son?' I lived like a feral child in the great ant filled tree in the back yard, sneaking into the house late at night to steal food and tools. I'm scared, but she'll never catch me. One of these days i'm gonna fix that car and get some help, then we'll all be free.

Mathew Shepard: Aftermath

His name is Matthew Shepard, and eleven years ago outside of a little town in Wyoming called Laramie he was kidnapped, tortured, and beaten, before be being horrifically murdered. His Crime? He hit on a guy in a bar. Matthew's murderers, Russell Arthur Henderson and Aaron James McKinney, were found guilty of murder and kidnapping and are both serving two consecutive life sentences. McKinney without possibility of parole.

This afternoon John Aravosis over at AMERICAblog directs our attention to this article over at the USAToday describing the ten year quest of Mathew's mother, Judy Shepard, to get a gay hate crimes bill passed by congress, often called the 'Mathew Shepard Act' this bill would add homosexuals to a list of federaly protected peoples and make the killing of homosexuals motivated by 'hate' a federal crime.

I think i might be the only homo in America that thinks this is a Bad Idea, let me count the ways...

1) Thought Crime: People should be punished for the crimes they commit, not the thoughts they are thinking while they commit the crime. Does it make any difference if you kill me because i'm gay, or i stand between you and a million dollars, or even if you just don't like my stupid ugly face? At the end of the day i'm dead. And my killer should be punished for murder. Period.

2) Federalism: The Constitution lists a number of crimes that require the attention of the Feds, 'treason, high crimes at sea, etc,' and murder of any stripe is simply not amongst them. I believe in the principle of the federal republic, that certain powers are reserved for the States, and others for the Federal Government. Investigation and prosecution of murder is a State's responsibility. And it's not as if the States have been remiss, 45 states have hate crimes laws on the books.

3) Limited Resources: The FBI only has so many agents, and we really need them to be investigating drug cartels and people that want to fly planes into tall buildings.

4) Making Martyrs out of Monsters: This is honestly the big one for me. To quote Dave Rittgers over at the Cato Institute,

A real true believer, a hardcore racist or homophobe, would want to be prosecuted under a statute that criminalizes his motives. Prosecution under a murder statute makes him a common criminal; prosecution for murdering someone given special status by the government makes him a martyr for his cause and incites those motivated by his brand of hatred and animus.

...

You don't defeat politically motivated violence by politicizing the laws used to prosecute it.

This is an emotional issue. I can't even conseive of the pain and loss Judy Shepard must be experiencing EVERY DAY since her only son was taken away from her. But laws are dangerous things, with unintended consequences. We should make new laws rarely and with passion or bias. If we set ourselves apart as some kind of specially protected super citizenry i worry that we won't be making ourselves safer, but rather we'll be painting targets on our chests.

Life in Cloud City

(left to right: me, eddie, miguel, kevin, and charles)

Last night after getting off work I met up with the boys of BYGAS and our new friend Miguel at the Triple Crown for the tale-end of the Golden Gate Gay Games. I'd like to say 'i don't remember the last time i had that much fun,' but truth be told my recollections of last night are... hazey. Thank goodness for photographic evedence.

Not To Be Crude...

... But if straight people had the kind of sex that i've been having there would be no war.

(there would be no time)

Current Obsession: Sean Hayes

Sunday Morning Confessional

I'm sorry can't say it, but i hope you know i feel it.

All the time. Every day.

A Holocaust of the Lower Intestine

I would like to state, for the record, that there is nothing i hate more then diarrhea. No ailment is more abhorrent to me. No affliction, no disease. I'd rather have a face full of zits on prom night. I'd rather projectile vomit at a state dinner. On a scale of one to ten, one being manage-ably annoying (Heidi Klum for instance) and ten being Soul Crushing Brutality (Everybody Loves Raymond!), then diarrhea = Hitler. That's right, i hate diarrhea with the same white hot burning intensity i usually reserve for genocidal landscape painters. Needless to say, the past week of my life, spent chained to my bathroom as i have been, will be remembered in the little personal history of Brenden Shucart as a lower intestinal holocaust.

It was bad. So bad in fact that Saturday night my auto-pilot kicked in and called my friend kevin to take me to the hospital. I have a truly top notch auto-pilot. Honed by years of black out drinking and other forms of over-consumption, it has an almost supernatural ability to get me home and into my bed unscathed. Even from other countries (yes. my auto-pilot has saved me from mexico). And though my nights of frat quality binge drinking are well behind me my auto-pilot remains, a synaptic guardian angel guiding me home when the party is over (if only for me. thank you Auto-Pilot, thank you for everything).

This past Saturday Auto saved me ass again. A perfect storm of dehydration, malnutrition, and high fever had me talking to dead relatives in my bedroom. And my little auto-pilot took maters into its little ninja hands long enough to call out to my friend kevin for help. I know why it picked kevin too, he gets shit done. He's like raw will dipped in caffeine. Explosive and unstoppable. He hoped in a cab scooped me up and whisked me to the emergency room in less then a half an hour (i'm told. I don't really remember anything between the dead relatives and the ER). So if not for him i might be all Rose Kennedy right now. Thank you kevin.

Fuck you Diarreha.

'scared and embarrassed and feeling alone'

Recently I started following a blog, Under the Bridge, written by Jason V. I know Jason, but not well. We move in the same circles, go to many of the same parties, he is a warm and funny fixture on the periphery of my life.

I've been ignoring the internets for a few days now, needing a break from the constant stream of celebrity gossip and geo-political disasters. When i read Jason's blog last night i came across this entry and i sat on my bed and cried.

A few years back when I initially learned of my HIV diagnosis I was afraid of running into someone that might recognize me. Would he or she tell other people about me? What would we say to each other? Should I make eye contact? Do I say hello? I was nervous and unsure.

This morning it happened in reverse: I saw someone that I knew and who by my account probably just learned that he was HIV positive. He's very well known in the gay boy social scene and when he saw sitting there texting away on my Iphone and I looked up and we made eye contact, I felt that same fear swell in him as it used to in me, and I instinctively wanted to leap up and out of my chair to hug him. But I didn't.

When he saw me he just pivoted in the opposite direction and began to wipe furiously at his eyes while I crumpled inside for him. There is such a stigma to being HIV positive in this country that it makes me so angry to see beautiful souls like his scared and embarrassed and feeling alone, most likely feeling confused and angry and all sorts of everything all at once...very much how I felt when I learned of my diagnosis.

I know how ISOLATING those three little letters can be. I know how heartbreaking it is to be rejected by a guy you really like because he can't handle your Status.

Thank you so very much Jason. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for your compassion.

You made me feel less alone.

The Roar of the Crowd

We always wanted to be Rock Stars; smoke machines, names in lights, the roar of the crowd like an ocean pounding against the stage... why should we let our lack of talent get in the way of that dream?

Tonight at Chilidog (@ the Tripple Crown: 1760 Market St.)

Doors open at 9

Show starts at 12

Sunday Morning Confessional

I have never seen Cabaret, or Liza! Liza! Liza!. In fact my only real exposure to Liza Minelli has been through parody and her guest spots on Arrested Development. But watching this clip i think i might be missing out.

My Queer Agenda

Here we are Team.

PRIDE!!!!!!!

The gayest week in the gayest city in the world! I'm so excited I can taste the FUCKING RAINBOW.

Here is a quick run down of where you'll find me this week (if you find yourself inclined to look)

TONIGHT! (Wednesday)

My first stop is a house warming for my friends, Jordie and Mark. But after that i'll be moving my feet to funky beats at the notorious Booty Call. $3 dollars all night at the Qbar (456 Castro)

THURSDAY!

The RFD launch party at Tingle Tangle will bring together Radical Faeries from all over the Empire. Young and old, wise and winsome, come and mingle with some of the best people i know (while some of the most talented people i know knock your faggoty socks off) $10(2565 Mission)

FRIDAY!

If you miss Tingle Tangle definatly come to the Faerie Fun Brunch at Cafe Flore, where you can meet and greet Radical Homos from near and far under the summer sun.

I will be preforming at the Suppervision Pride Pajama Party, backing up the rapacious Miss Ambrosia Salad. the party starts at 10 and goes late.

PINK SATURDAY!

The Mad Hatter's Tea Party is being held, noon to 6pm at the Faerie Village (UN Plaza).

Then later that night is Comfort and Joy's world fameous Afterglow (a very sexy party <>)

SUNDAY!

The day Itself. Come find me at the A Different Light Booth in the morning at the festival. After that i'll be making my way to Juanita More's infameous Pool Party

Find more info about the weeks events HERE

Shout Out

I picked up a SFBG on my way to work this morning, and who should be gracing it's cover but San Francisco's very own Juanita More and Juan Garcia, (along with some of the other leading movers and shakers of the Queer Nightlife). This week you can find Juan at his celebration of the mustache, MR. And Ms. More will of course be hosting her weekly party, Booty Call, at QBar tonight and on Sunday she will be presiding over her (amazing, legendary, epic) Pride Pool Party. They are both tireless Social Ninjas that bust their asses to make San Francisco nightlife the non stop adventure that it is today (and i admire them both... more than a little bit) Congratulations guys! You deserve the recognition.

(side note: i scoured the internets for a picture of juanita and juan together, of which i know i've seen eight million... stupid internets.)

Iran is Imploding

Bloomberg is reporting that ten more people have been killed during the protests in Iran. And that family members of Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, including his daughter Faezeh Hashemi, have been arrested for supporting the protests. Rafsanjani is a former President of Iran, and is currently head of the Assembly of Experts; the clerrical body that has the power to appoint and dismiss the Supream Leader. It is now likely that Rafsanjani will call the Assembly into session in order to remove Khameni from power.

It looks more and more like Iran could slip into civil war.

Happy Father's Day

I miss you Dad. Every day.

Whiskey & S'mores

I woke up this morning at Precita Palace smelling of campfire after our Whiskey & S'mores  Campfire Social. Blessedly unhungover. I even made it to work on time!

Making Mischief of One Kind and Another

I discovered Terrible Yellow Eyes while browsing io9 today and it made me do the Snoopy Dance. Where the Wild Things are is one of those things that shaped me as a child. It's simple rhythms and haunting words echo through my mind, they beat my heart.

Needless to say i'm super excited about the new movie (though what i'm really hungry for is the director's cut.)

No Map

When my boyfriends and I broke up up this April we discussed the potential of all of us continuing to live in the same apartment. As ridiculous as this sounds at first blush three factors gave us very high hopes for successful cohabitation; first of all i have my own room, second we are very good friends, and third we share friends (a former couple) that broke up not to long ago and they continue to live together and be best friends (it seems very happily). Ultimately we  agreed to give it to the end of this month (May) to feel it out with the agreement that we would be 'extremely careful with each others feelings.' I was super excited, because i love these men, and we have built a home together. I don't think anyplace that i've shared with another person has ever felt like home before. And even though I don't think our marriage (and it felt like a marriage, even though i know it wasn't) makes a lot of sense any more, I still love them and this is still my home.

But I'm not sure that it's working out. My ex has not been what i would consider to be 'extremely careful.' It's not that i think he's going out of his way to be disrespectful... but if i had done some of the things to him that he's done to me in the last few week he would flip his shit. I'm not even that mad, its not like we set down specific rules to follow, i guess i just didn't expect our definitions of 'extremely careful with each others feelings,' to be so far apart.  It's days like these i really wish my life came with a rule book, or a set of instructions, or map to tell me how to get from infancy to old age. Fuck, I'd settle for a diagram on the back of a cocktail napkin.

Notable News

Paul Bockwaldt talks about joining the Gotham Knights (HOT gay rugby team) to bond with his gay brother.

Craigslist demands an apology from the AG of South Carolina.

Stephen Walt over at Foreign Policy Magazine makes a great argument for tolerance.

Chris Hedges decries the 'Disease of Permanent War'

A Somewhat Brutal Reentry

I've been back from the Short Mountain Gathering for about two weeks now. I know i should have posted sooner but my reentry into the default world has been somewhat fucking brutal. As if adjusting from the bucolic Eden of Short Mtn. Tennessee back to City Life wasn't hard enough, i contracted the most heinous and bowl liquefying strain of the Faery Flu known to man. I have been unable to do almost anything accept drag my ass to work for a few hours each day and sleepsleepsleep... But now i'm recovered, and ready to jump back into my life with gusto.

I used Kevin's camera up on the Mountain, and once i can get the pics downloaded into my computer i will have a big show and tell.

Celebrating 420 With Family Guy

Bong toting babies and cat murder. I love this show.

Desert Mix

The Coachella music festival is going on RIGHT NOW and I feel like the only person i know who isn't there.

So in order to salve my pain I made this little playlist of the bands i wish i could be seeing...

1. Beirut - Nantes
2. Peter Bjorn & John - Young Folks
3. Jenny Lewis - The Big Guns
4. The Ting Tings - Great DJ
5. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
6. Glass Candy - Beatific
7. Devendra Banhart - I Feel Just Like A Child
8. The Kills - Cheap and Cheerful
9. M.I.A. - Paper Planes
10. Felix Da House Cat (feat. Princess Superstar) - Coochie Coo
11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

*sigh*

Desert Living Pt. 2

I'm having so much much fun driving around the desert, running errands for my mom. Who could have known that I would miss this so much? I thought i had fully gone NoCal native, i love walking around my neighborhood (i love that i CAN walk around me neighborhood) and taking the MUNI. But just being able to get in a car and go...

I gues you can take the boy out of SoCal but you can't take SoCal out of the boy.

Desert Living Pt. 1

Last nights crazy wind storm knocked out the power on my mom's block, so i'm stealing internet from (i am assuming) somewhere across the street. Hopefully they get the power up and running soon because Desert - Air Conditioning = Brutal.

Until then i'm sipping coffee by the pool at my mom's house whilst listening to Roisin Murphy, life could be worse.

Glad to be Alive

I have been flying several times a year since i was old enough to walk and that was, hands down, the most brutal flight i have ever experienced.

It all got off to an unusually smooth start. I even got to the airport early, which any one who has ever traveled with me can testify never happens. I'm usually the last one on the plane having jostled my way through security and bolting tword the terminal with my shoes in hand (stupid shoe rule!). But no, not this time. This trip isn't for me, it's for my mom, and i was bound and determined i wasn't going to make her wait or worry.

The plane was practically empty, only twenty of us or so, and i had a whole row to spread out in. The pilot warned of mild terbulance but for most of the trip it was barely noticable. In fact the whole adventure was looking like it was going to go down in my personal history books as the most unremarkable flight i'd ever taken until the very end.

There were 70mph winds whipping through the Coachella Vally as we came in over Palm Springs Airport (fun fact: at 73mph winds officially become 'hurricane force') and the airplane began to shake violently. We were coming in low for a second pass when we experienced a crazy CRAZY wind shear and we dropped like a STONE. People were puking, the guy in the isle across from started to cuss softly, but the kicker was when the stewardess at the back of the plane started to sob uncontrollably. Doesn't exactly instill confidence.

Clearly we survived. They diverted our flight to Ontario Mills airport and they shipped us into Palm Springs on a shuttle. But i am very VERY thankful to be walking around on Mother Earth.

Four Down...

Holy Shit!

This morning Vermont became the first state of The Union to legalize gay marriage by an act of legislature when it's lower house voted 100-49 (the minimum needed) to overturn Governor Jim Douglas' veto of a marriage bill passed yesterday by both Houses of the Vermont legislature.

Vermont joins Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Iowa; all of whom had Gay marriage dictated to them by their Judicial branches.

A few weeks ago, when the California Supreme Court was hearing arguments for and against gay marriage i got into a bit of a... lets call it a 'spirited debate' with my dear friend Rand when i espoused the opinion that perhaps it is not in our best interest to keep winning these victories in the courts. In fact without a legislative or referendum victory under our belts these court victories are hollow, reversible at any time, like Roe V. Wade. But now we have the first true mark of the changing tide. Nothing can stop us.

Who is the Sexiest Otter in San Francisco?

My Boyfriend!

At least according to the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence and a bar full of and drunken bears and horny leather daddies. You see this weekend my sexy man, Stephen, won the Mr. Indulgence Otter competition (benefiting the Marine Mammal Center)at the http://www.powerhouse-sf.com/ this weekend.

You are kinda jealous, admit it.

OH!! I'm desperate to get a picture of Stephen's victory. So if you have something let me know.

Talk About 'Arousing The Body Politic'

Beau Breedlove (Charles Dickens, eat your heart out) the legislative intern whose intimate and controversial relationship with Portland Mayor Sam Adams caused people from all corners of the internet to call for Adams' resignation, recently announced he was posing for Unzipped magazine.

You know, looking at this cover I'd be tempted to throw away my political career too.

Living on the Edge of the Future

Remember that scene in 'Minority Report' where Tom Cruise interacts with his computer just by using his fingers? Well its about to be a reality. Pattie Maes' lab at MIT, (lead by a genius named Pranav Mistry)has developed a wearable device with a projector that will radically alter the way we interact with our environment.

Top O' the Morning!

That's right boys and girls, Saint Patrick's Day, that most hallowed of holy days is upon us. And how do we celebrate the Christinification of Ireland?

BEER!!!

I've already started, so if you want to catch up you better double fist it.

I CAN FIX THINGS!

Or at least, 'a thing,' a lamp to be specific.

I found this awesome rusty old lamp on the street a few weeks ago. i took it into Cliff's on market, and this super cute butch lesbian talked me through how to rewire the thing.

Now i'm going to reward myself with food.

Brace Yourself!

a gird your loins. (heh! loin.) The State Supreme Court is hearing arguments today regarding the repeal of Prop. 8.

My sources tell me that the Civic Center is already packed. One friend described it as 'like the siege from 'Willow' with signs taped to four by fours instead of swords and catapults'

umm... awesome.

Perhaps one of the Justices will look down on the unwashed throng and turn everyone into pigs. It could happen.

SCIENCE!!!!!

For the third time in just over a month, a healthy human placenta has been found by workers at the Urbana-Champaign Sanitary District. Urbana Police contacted the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District (CUPHD), and the Champaign County Coroner's Office for assistance with this unusual situation. According to the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency Rules and Regulations, human placentas are considered potentially infectious medical waste, and should not be disposed of in the municipal sewage system.

"I can say with absolute certainty that the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District has never received a call of this nature," said Julie A. Pryde, Public Health Administrator at CUPHD. "CUPHD has been asked by local authorities to assist with disseminating information to the community to ensure that this situation does not occur again."

Persons assisting with home births, human or animal, should not dispose of placentas through the municipal sewage system-through flushing down the toilet or depositing them in a storm sewer. Placentas should be treated as any other solid, potentially infectious medical waste, and disposed of properly. Hospitals, clinics, and the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District have contracts with licensed medical waste disposal companies.

[vie io9]

His Smile

His smile is bright, false.
She does not contradict him
when he says 'i'm fine'

Mornin- er... AFTERNOON Cartoons

So the other night my boyfriend and i were digging through the depths of our cable providers 'on demand' programing (which we only ever do when we are to tired to think or talk and there is nothing we actually want to watch on). Anyway.

I had forgotten how DEEPLY weird and trippy the Thundercats are. Take the episode below for example, Tygra goes underground to discover the source of mysterious earthquakes, meets a nymph named 'Silkie' who gives him hallucinogenic fruit which turns him into a zombie crack addict. AMAZING. Even the non-drug metaphor episodes are acid-flash-back inducing; the random introduction of characters, strange stilted expositional dialogue, plots that start and stop at random, the way Mumm-ra 'The Ever Living' says his own name in every sentence... This is why everyone in my generation experiments with drugs.

Wisdom Eludes Me

Wisdom eludes me
they told me it comes with age
i just get older.

If you go over to Spunk Magazine's Blog you will see a spread on my good friend Leo Herrera (including a picture of me!). Congratulations Leo, keep up the good work. (And don't worry San Francisco, i've been assured that Leo is not moving to NYC any time soon.)

DOOM!

George Soros, Multi-Billionaire and noted international man of mystery, spoke at a Colombia University dinner today and let everybody know just how fucked we are. The Highlights?

The global financial system has collapsed.

We are nowhere near the bottom.

The times ahead will be worse then the Great Depression.

I can't wait to start hoarding sugar packets!

Where's Your Messiah Now?

Embracing the Bush Administration policy that you can create prisons outside the law, The Obama Administration contends that detainees in Afghanistan have no legal rights.

There Are No Words

It's called Dinosaurs Fucking Robots.

That is all.

[from io9]

Learning is Fun

Okay, i know that all of my posts today have been you tube clips, but fuck you. Who are you to judge me?



I can't stop singing this!

Be Careful What You Wish For

I saw Coraline over the weekend and it was everything i wanted it to be; beautiful, funny, deeply DEEPLY disturbing... it's those button eyes...

Morning Cartoons

The Simpsons is now being broadcast in HiDef and to celebrate Matt Groening and co. have updated the title sequence for the first time in 18 years.



NOW WITH GRANDPA!

Congratulations Douchebags

You've done it, and let me be the first to congratulate you. In these uncertain times, with companies laying off employees left and right, and people desperate for any paying position they can find, you have managed to eliminate somewhere between ten and twenty jobs from coming to your neighborhood.

God you people make me angry.

How could you be against American Apparel coming to the mission? A company that sells a product produced here in California by workers earning a decent wage wants to open a retail location in you neighborhood, creating jobs and paying rent in a location that has been vacant for as long as i've been in San Francisco, and you PROTEST! Because YOU, in your infinite wisdom have decided that your neighborhood isn't SERVED by an American Apparel.

But apparently it is served by a fucking pirate store. A PIRATE STORE!!!! Will someone please tell me who is served by Five and Diamond other then trustifarian peacocks. NO ONE. No one needs a pirate store. No one needs a science fiction bookstore. No one NEEDS a cat themed radio station, but you know what? they are all nice to have around.

Bah!

The fact of the matter is that the mission has everything it needs. It's got restaurants, and markets, and boutiques, and flower stores. It has everything. And if it lacks something its not because the evils of 'formula retail' are keeping some theoretical awesome store from opening up on Valenica street. If someone had some genius idea for some store that 'served the mission' it would be there by now.

AGH!

I'm exhausted. Good night.

The Grand Arbiter of Scum

The one and only Chicken John has weighed in on the all important American Apparel controversy.

While one lucky young man has been appointed 'The Grand Arbiter of Scum' wouldn't that look great on a resume?

G-A-Y A-B-Cs

from over at OMGblog

Avast Ye Hipsters!

San Franciscans love to block traffic. It's true. On any given day in this city there are hundreds of people clogging the streets celebrating or protesting or sometimes just milling around for no good reason whatsoever.

Mostly this makes me smile. Protests/Celebrations twenty four hours a day seven days a week means i am rarely bored. But sometimes... i just want to shake the good citizens of San Francisco and tell them to chill the fuck out.

I don't know if you've heard, but there is a major brouhaha over in the Mission about American Apparel's intention to open a shop on Valencia. In fact Pirate Cat Radio is hosting a gathering tomorrow at 988 Valencia St. at 10:00am, for community leaders and 'concerned citizens' to discuss the evils of 'formula retail.'

Com'on Missioners, is their nothing more serious in this city to be 'concerned' about? Or am i missing something? Seriously, someone convince me.